Nicole's Teacher Training Diary

September 2021

Describing my experience after week two of CorePower Yoga Teacher Training in one word, I’d have to say: PASSION. Not only are the amazing instructors passionate about what they are teaching, but I feel so passionate about this journey, it surprises me.  During college at the United States Military Academy, I mostly went through the motions checking off each assignment I had to do so I could have time to do what I really loved, basketball and rugby. I completed all my school assignments, but there wasn't anything driving me other than good grades. With Teacher Training, it's totally different. I look forward to learning how each bone or muscle helps with certain yoga poses. My motivation consists of deepening my personal practice and to be the best teacher I can be. 

Why is there so much passion in this journey for me? I have always loved learning about the human body and why or how it moves the way it does. So far, we have completed two anatomy classes, one to do with bones and the others to do with muscles. As a member of the national women's rugby team, we push our bodies physically every day. Throughout this course, I’ve noticeably become more aware of body movements and what muscles I am working out. The other reason I feel a sense of passion for this practice is because it is by no means easy.

During week two, I was able to participate in a four-member Zoom breakout room, where we each got to teach each other through Sun Salutation A. First of all, I was BEYOND nervous to teach my classmates, and secondly I struggled to form the words. It's like I knew everything there was to say but the part I struggled with was getting it out of my mouth in a way that flowed. Just like my rugby skills, it's going to take repetition to be the yoga instructor I want to be and, honestly, I am excited to ride that wave. It's relatable to what my sport psychologist asked me at the 2020 Olympics after I confessed to him how nervous I was to play in the biggest athletic stage of my career: "Would you want to be anywhere else?" I quickly responded, "Absolutely not." Sure, this journey might be difficult at times, but nothing I have ever done that was worth it was easy. 

October 2021

I can’t believe I just finished week six of Teacher Training! Before taking this course, I thought that the three hour, three times a week commitment would be draining but I’m finding myself spending even more time on my teacher training then the required amount. Not only am I attending the live classes, but I have now started to practice my teaching during my commute to and from work. Spotify and podcasts have taken the back burner, now it’s just me and my voice working with getting yoga cues and Sanskrit out of my mouth in a way that flows. 

Up until now, we have covered most of the C1 class format which includes Sun A, Sun B, Core Series, Crescent Lunge Series, Balancing Series, Triangle Series, and Hip Series. All that’s left is Spine Series and Surrender Series! 

During this process, I have really started to appreciate how both beautiful and difficult Sanskrit is and have started to practice my Sanskrit seriously. As someone who has taken many yoga classes for years, I’ve never truly appreciated when a yoga instructor spits out the words Urdhva Mukha Svanasana (upward facing dog) or Parivrtta Virabhadrasana (reverse warrior) with such ease. It’s so impressive and it’s something I want to use when I teach. 

Other than working on my cueing in the car and Sanskrit pronunciation, I have also started meeting bi-weekly with one of my favorite yoga instructors, Amore St. Ives. I met Amore years ago at Core Power Studio in North Park, San Diego. At 10am, every Sunday, I would take her class religiously. Amore has a way of making her students feel so welcomed from the first second you interact with her. And although I must have taken about 40+ of her C2 classes, they are all different and unique. She has a love for yoga that she carries on and off her mat that bleeds into her teaching. Every time I have a conversation with her or take one of her classes, I feel a fire in myself to be a better listener, a better yoga instructor, a healthier eater, and a more mindful person. She is the reason I started this journey to become a yoga instructor and I am beyond grateful to have her as one of my mentors.

November 2021

I can’t believe I’m about to enter week ten of Teacher Training. I feel like just the other day I was starting this 12-week journey.  If I were to use two words to describe my feelings towards this experience so far, it would be grateful and impactful. 

I am beyond grateful for the people I have met and the stronger bonds I have built throughout this journey. Amore and I have continued to meet bi-weekly and I’ve discovered that not only is she teaching me how to instruct a C2 class, but she is also introducing me to a community of fellow yoga practitioners. As a yoga instructor who has been teaching in San Diego for over ten years, she has a wide circle of friends who know and love yoga. I enjoy being with them because I believe each and every one of them has something I can learn from and one day take into my yoga practice.

Over Thanksgiving, I was fortunate enough to sit down with these yoga instructors. One conversation that came up was are you Pita or Vata? To give you some history, Ayurveda is an ancient Indian Science that means “Science of Life” in Sanskirt. It is known for its holistic approach to health by balancing all the levels of a human experience: mind, body, emotions, environment, and relationships. Our bodies consist of three doshas: Vata, Pitta and Kapha. Ayurveda states that bringing a person to their natural level of doshas will create a balance. Without going into too much detail about the three, each dosha is represented by elements, qualities, season, taste, physical structure, personality, imbalances, food one enjoys and even the clothes they wear. Knowing your dosha can help you live a healthier, more balanced life. After my Thanksgiving conversation, I discovered I am Pitta. The way it was explained to me is I am fire and transformative, whereas someone who has a Kapha dosha a caregiver (for example, a nurse).  And lastly, Pitta is someone who steals the room with their energy. 

One thing that has been very impactful for me during this journey is having non-judgment. I feel like my journey to becoming a yoga instructor has been a slower learning process than I anticipated, which can feel like automatic failure. As an Olympic rugby player, you can imagine I have to learn skills fast and do them well or my job will be compromised. I am constantly judging myself on how I am doing by watching practice film and trying to fix mistakes, or keeping track of how many kicks I miss. I found myself doing this with my teacher training. I would say things like I am not good at core or finding beat to the music or I am not moving as fast as my peers. All of these are judgments of myself that only I have created and no one else. Who says I’m not good at instructing core series? Or who says I am moving slow? Only myself and the quicker I can knock these judgments aside, and ride the wave of my own personal journey, the more enjoyment I will have.

This is something I want to carry with me the rest of life. I want to enjoy the struggle and fear of journeys because if the sole purpose is just the end goal, you miss most of the meat where growth is made. For example, I have been training for the Olympics for the past seven years of my life. I have been to one Olympics as a reserve, one has a player, and I am currently striving to play in Paris 2024. Of course the end goal is to play at as many Olympics as possible, but my goal is also to fail, learn and grow during that time. If all I want and think about is the end goal, I am going to get to it and think well that was a nice field trip. Now what? The Olympics are such a short portion of my athlete career that in order to feel fulfilled it’s important to enjoy the ups and downs of the experience leading up to it. My timeline to become a yoga instructor might be slower than I anticipated, but it’s unique to me and only me and I can’t wait to continue to grow. 

December 2021

I can’t believe it’s been twelve weeks since I started my yoga teacher training journey. It really seems like yesterday I joined the CorePower family. I have to say I’ve become a better person, daughter, yoga teacher, and yoga student because of it. When I committed to this journey, my end goal was clear: to become a yoga teacher. Now, reflecting on my journey, it’s much more than that. 

I often reflect back to what one of my teammates told me after our 2016 Olympic experience in Rio. She was very unsatisfied with her experience and just a few months after said, "If you focus solely on the outcome to become an Olympian or to win a gold medal, you get to the Olympics, compete in your sport, and return home saying well that was a nice field trip." The lesson learned here is that it is dangerous to put your main focus on the end goal because you will miss the precious moments along the way. It's easier said than done, but what if we could enjoy the hard moments along the way? What if we could say, “wow, today I felt helpless and unproductive but I am so thankful for it because I know it will make me a better person for tomorrow”. It sounds weird, but can we enjoy the suck? It sort of relates to those times when you have something to do and the whole time you hate every second of it and can't wait for it to be over. And then when you're done you think wow, that was really fulfilling, challenging, and can't wait to do it again. 

Another lesson I’ve learned and am still working through is self- judgment. What is self judgment to you? How often do you catch yourself expecting something out of yourself, failing short, and feeling like a failure? For me, it happens daily. I constantly expect and put expectations to my day. Yesterday, it was my running workout. I had expectations to feel great and when I didn’t, I automatically felt like I was failing. But who is judging me? There was no one else to see me struggle every rep and deep down I knew in my heart I was giving it my all. At the end of the day that’s all you can ask for. It was all in my head. The quicker I can gain perspective on what that feeling is, and put it in its place (because those feelings will come) the better I will be. 

During our session one day, my mentor noticed I was unsatisfied with where I was with my learnings. I expressed I wasn’t nearly as far along with my studies as I wanted to be and felt that the class was progressing much quicker than I was. Her response was, “what standards are you gauging yourself to?”, “who is telling you you aren’t where you need to be?” My response was simple: myself. We are our biggest critics. 

I won't lie and say my yoga teacher training has been easy. It's been very time consuming and difficult for me to pick up. I've struggled to stay attentive for a three-hour Zoom lesson and I've had a hard time getting words out of my mouth to put people in poses. But what I have enjoyed is the journey. I've already met some amazing people through it and have revisited some very valuable lessons: life isn't all about the end goal. I may never be a yoga instructor, but I have this fulfilled feeling that I have completed a 200 hour Yoga Teacher Training Course and have become a better person out of it.